One of the deepest wounds many clients carry is not just the original pain — but the dismissal of it.
The Hidden Trauma of Dismissal
A woman spends years exhausted, told “it’s just stress.” A man describes chronic pain, told to “toughen up.” This is gaslighting in healthcare: when a patient’s experience is invalidated, minimized, or reframed as a personal flaw.
Why It Hurts So Deeply
Dismissal erodes self-trust. Patients begin to wonder: Am I making this up? What’s dismissed externally becomes internalized shame.
Why It Happens
- Systemic pressures: rushed appointments, overreliance on lab results.
- Biases: gender, race, or age shaping what providers believe.
- Culture of toughness: pain equated with weakness.
What Helps Patients
- Bring a support person to appointments.
- Ask providers to write notes in your chart.
- Seek second opinions.
What Helps Providers
Listen first. Label later. The patient’s story is not extra — it is data.
Key Takeaway
When pain is validated, even before answers are clear, healing has already begun.
